


All about that Blass

by Julia3132



Series: The Secret Weapon [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blaine's going to hell, Blam Week 2016, Blass is Blaine's Ass, Day 6 Any song a Blam song, M/M, jock/cheerleader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 01:04:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8381884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia3132/pseuds/Julia3132
Summary: Blaine would do anything for Sam. Even something that he expressly forbade Sam from doing.





	

**Author's Note:**

> One-shot based off my Day 1 Blam Week 2016 work 'The Secret Weapon'
> 
> Came to me as I was practically challenged to write it
> 
> Not what I was going to be submitting, but since I'm stuck on the story I'm writing I went for it. Hope you like it.

 

 

_“I am going to hell” Blaine told himself. He knew what he was about to do was wrong, but it was for Sam so that made it ok. Right? Maybe? Nope, he was going to hell._

 

It started not long after Sam and Blaine became boyfriends. Blaine knew that Sam had what he called a “Blass” problem when he played basketball, so Blaine tried to help him out. Whenever it looked like the team needed a little extra help, Blaine would make sure that he would do something to show off his ass.

The problem was every time he did something, he had to do something bigger the next time to get Sam’s attention. Sam was literally taking Blaine’s ass for granted and Blaine was out of ideas. So, even though Blaine expressly forbade Sam from telling anyone about Blass, Blaine went ahead and told Brittany and Kitty. He did most of his dances and stunts with those two so they should be the most helpful. Once they stopped laughing at him they got to work on ways Blaine could show off his ass-et.

Everything worked great. Between the three of them they could always think of something to do when needed. In fact, everything worked so well that the Titans made it to the State Championship game for the first time in school history. All of McKinley was excited. All of McKinley except Sam.

Sam was panicked. What happened if he couldn’t play like he had been playing? What if now was the time that the Blass magic ended? Blaine tried everything, and he meant everything, he could think of to help Sam relax and just concentrate on the game itself. Some things, yeah those things, helped for a while but Blaine knew he needed a Blass plan for the game, and it was going to have to be BIG.

The most important part of the plan was that Sam had to see it happen and not for just a couple of seconds like during a normal time out. However, for any extended periods of down time, the teams went back to the locker room. Blaine remembered that the baskets were on collapsible poles. If one were to go down, it would take time to set it back up because all of the measurements would have to be perfect. He just didn’t know how to get that done. Kitty said she would handle it. “Good” Blaine told himself “One less thing to feel guilty about.”

That is how Blaine found himself here at the Boy’s State Championship Basketball Game, getting ready to confirm his one-way ticket to hell. Well, technically what he was about to do was not CHEATING. Yup, keep telling yourself that Anderson.

 

It was the start of the 4th quarter and McKinley was down by 10. They had all played great, but the other team was the defending state champions and seemed to have an answer for everything they tried to do. It was time for the Cheerios to unleash their secret weapon. Kitty gave a signal and whatever she had done to sabotage the basket worked because it slowly started to come down. Event staff was able to get to it quickly, but announced that it would take a few minutes to set up while they made sure that all the measurements were exact.

Since Sue couldn’t (or refused to) be there, Blaine went to the man running the championships and asked if he would like the National Champion Cheerios to entertain the crowd while they waited. The man couldn’t say yes fast enough. Blaine may be going to hell, but the plan that was sending him there was working perfectly.

All of the Cheerios quickly took off their uniforms. Every single one of them had been wearing tight red booty shorts and white tank tops underneath them. The squad then put themselves in formation in the middle of the court. Blaine made sure Sam had a bird’s-eye view of Blass as Brittany signaled for the music to start.

 _because you know I'm all about that bass,_  
_'Bout that bass, no treble_  
_I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble_  
_I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble_  
_I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass_

Well, that got everyone’s attention. Everyone was singing and dancing along, even if it wasn’t the most appropriate song for a “family friendly” environment. The Cheerios changed the formation a bit, ensuring that Blaine was standing directly in front of Sam for the next part. The next part wasn’t actually a dance but was part of an exercise routine from Sue’s failed “Sue 90x” routine. There would be lots and lots of Blass.

 _Yeah it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two_  
_But I can shake it, shake it_ (Oh Blaine shook it, shook it) _like I'm supposed to do_  
_'Cause I got that boom boom_ (Blaine threw in a couple extra booty thrusts for good measure) _that all the boys chase_  
_All the right junk in all the right places_ (Sam had to sit back down when Blaine spanked his own ass right after that line)

 

The rest of the routine went great. Everyone loved it and it took up just the right amount of time. Blaine, Kitty and Brittany huddled together as the game was about to restart. They hoped that they had given Sam, and the rest of the team, enough Blass to push them through.

The other team went to throw the ball in bounds. Sam jumped in front of the pass, stole the ball, dribbled it to the other team’s basket and dunked the ball. Blaine and the girls cheered.

Thirty minutes later there was hugging and kissing and lots of confetti. The McKinley Boys Basketball team were State Champs! It took a little bit for Sam and Blaine to find each other, but when they did they held on tight. This, basketball and cheerleading, was what brought them together. It would always be special to them.

“Blaine, I’m in love with you” Sam said in Blaine’s ear.

“I’m in love with you too Sammy” Blaine returned.

They had said ‘I love you’ to each other a hundred times, but this was different. There were no ‘bros’ or ‘best friends’ or even ‘Blam’. They were just two boys that were in love with each other. Blaine told himself that if he did wind up going to hell it was ok, for that moment in Sam’s arms was pure heaven.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, the ending was pretty corny.
> 
> Yes, Blaine’s “performance” in front of Sam is a blatant homage (I own nothing Glee because if I did there would have been Blam kisses!) to Blaine’s green booty short scene in Episode 4x20 Lights Out. Go back and watch it if you haven't in a while. It gets better with time.
> 
> All about that bass: Kadish, Kevin; Trainor, Meghan 2015


End file.
